Stumped at McDonald's

One of the cool things about some of these islands is that you can always get a little taste of home...McDonald's.  Some criticize those of us who eat at the fast food joints because they don't serve the "local" fare.  But we contend that when the lines are full of locals, it's local food.  But I do have one beef with the place since we left the states...

It seems that outside of the United States, it's very uncommon to order a hamburger at McDonald's.  Cheeseburger, yes.  Hamburger, no.  It started in Mexico when I had to actually point to the item three times on the menu.  Then they would ask around and finally someone would say "Ahhh, Hamburgesa con queso, sin queso!,"  As in Cheeseburger without the cheese.  Whatever.

Once in Tahiti, it was even more difficult because we were ordering in French.  But they seemed to get Big Mac fine, just not Hamburger.

I had almost forgotten these troubles until today.  We went to McDonald's for lunch and since they speak English and we're dealing in dollars, I didn't anticipate any problems.  But when I ordered my hamburger, I was met with a blank stare.

"You want a cheeseburger?"
"No, I would like a hamburger"
"Ummmm..." followed by a long pause.
"Just a plain hamburger?"
"Yes"
"on the side?"  On the side of what, I have no idea.
"Just a hamburger"
"Plain?"
"I would like mustard and ketchup and everything else....just no cheese"
"No cheese?  Just the meat?"
"Yes"
A smile crosses her face as she gives me one of those 'you crazy white people' looks and she continues to take our order.

When we get our order, guess what I got?  A bun with a plain piece of meat in between.  No ketchup, no mustard, nothing.  In any other restaurant, I would let it go.  But the only reason I go to McDonald's is for their hamburger and french fries.  It's what I've been eating since I was a little kid.  The right amount of ketchup with mustard and that pickle....small onions....it's perfect.  So, I went back up to the counter and asked for mustard and ketchup.  They looked at me once again like I had horns growing out of my head.  After talking to three different people, the final one being a manager, I got my hamburger just the way I like it.  Evidently, here in American Samoa, it's called a Junior Burger.  Now I know.

Andy asked me what I was going to do when I took my trip home.  I'm going to go to McDonald's and order a hamburger and hear them say "Would you like fries with that?"